Japanetsy Noodle Bowl

Behold, the product of a spontaneous trip to Super-L Ranch Market (upon excitedly discovering that indeed, Phoenix has an Asian market), regular grocery day at Whole Foods, a limited budget, and little to no knowledge of Japanese cuisine. And my love of stupid names.

The creation of this bowl of food, like that of so many before it, was influenced by many delicious experiences. I had udon noodles some time ago at a friend's birthday dinner, and haven't been able to forget about how deliciously fat and slippery they were (I'm sorry, there's really no other way to say it). And again, eating at Green in Tempe - they have these bowls. With a bunch of stuff in them, and noodles. Only they're expensive, whereas my version is not. My Cafe Flora cookbook inspired me to roast tofu with yams (instead of deep frying it, like the tofu I've had at Green). And finally... miso. Everyone keeps talking about it and I didn't want to miss out. So I bought some.

Back to those udon noodles... I really wanted to make some like I had at Boom Noodle back in Seattle. I looked at Super-L but they only had two choices, and I couldn't read the label to know what exactly their deal was. (This is where taking Japanese instead of French, German, and Spanish would have come in handy.) I don't like being alienated from all knowledge about the food products I consume. So I tried Whole Foods, which in Seattle surely has a nice selection of udon noodles. I guess Phoenix doesn't, because I had two choices there too: one that was "organic" but made in China (I would have considered it if udon noodles were Chinese, but... well, probably not even then), and one that was not organic, and made with whole wheat and brown rice and made in Japan. I chose the Japanese, acknowledging sadly that a noodle which was that full of fiber would never cook up to be as fat or slippery as the udon noodles at Boom Noodle. Le sigh. At least they will contribute to the health of my bowels.

Did I mention I know nothing about Japanese food? I know udon noodles are Japanese. I know miso is Japanese. I know tofu is consumed in Japan. That's the extent of it. I don't know if they make funky bowls full of things there. I don't know if they eat cremini mushrooms, or Swiss chard, or cilantro, or yams. I guess it doesn't matter, as long as those things taste good with miso and bran-y udon noodles and tofu. Turns out they taste GREAT with those things. I win.


JAPANETSY NOODLE BOWL

medium yam, peeled and diced to about 1/2-inch
8-16 oz extra firm tofu, patted dry and diced to same size as yam
some cooking oil
ground ginger
freshly ground black pepper
red pepper flakes
pinch o' sea salt
few tbsp grated fresh ginger
1 tbsp tamari or shoyu
1 tsp mustard
1 1/2 tbsp shiromiso (white miso)
2-3 tbsp some kind of sweet jam (I used cloudberry from Ikea, because that's what I had) or honey, or a combination
3 tbsp lemon juice or rice vinegar (probably the latter, but I didn't have any)
5-6 tbsp oil
handful dry udon noodles
some more cooking oil
1/4 cup sliced cremini or button mushrooms
1/2 cup-1 cup chopped in season greens (like Swiss chard!)
2 cloves garlic, minced
fresh cilantro, for garnish

1. Preheat your oven to 400 degrees, stick a rack in the middle, yada yada. Chop up your yam and tofu and put them in a big bowl. Drizzle a few tablespoons of whatever cooking oil you have on hand onto them, add a bit of ground ginger (use your best guess as to how much), some red pepper flakes, black pepper, and a teeny weeny bit of salt. If you like getting your hands disgustingly oily, then mix it all up with your hands until every piece is evenly coated. If you prefer to keep your hands clean, find something else to stir it with. I haven't found anything nearly as effective, which is unfortunate because oily hands are kind of gross. Spread the tofu and yams out on a cookie sheet, and stick in the (preheated) oven to roast for 30-40 minutes.

2. Make your dressing in the meantime. Put the ginger, shoyu, mustard, miso, jam, and vinegar in a little bowl and whisk it up. Taste it. It should taste overwhelmingly salty and a little sweet. This is good, you'll use it sparingly. Whisk it quickly and drizzle in the oil until you feel it's the right thickness. Taste again, it should be a little milder.



3. Cook up your noodles, unless you were smart and got the fresh ones that are already fat and slippery. Put on some water and bring it to a boil, and add your noodles. Cook it according to what the package tells you. I'm pretty sure my whole wheat, brown rice noodles are a cooking anomaly.



4. Take out your roasting yams/tofu, if they're ready (if a fork goes into a yam easily, they're done), and set them aside.



5. Heat up some oil in a pan, pretty hot. Don't let it smoke, though, we've been over that. Actually, we haven't. Don't let your oil smoke, it becomes carcinogenic. On your bottle of cooking oil, it may list the "smoke point" - it's the maximum temperature to which an oil may be heated before it starts turning to smoke. Don't go past that. Anyway, when your oil is hot (you can feel the heat from several inches away), add your mushrooms in a layer. This is too much oil:



I had to pour some out. When the mushrooms look like this:



you can add your garlic and greens. Keep stirring, don't let the garlic burn. It will brown, this is unavoidable. Turn down your heat. When everything shrinks nicely but doesn't wilt to a pulp, take it off the heat.



6. Toss some noodles, some yams/tofu, green mixture, and no more than a tablespoon or two of dressing into your serving bowl until it's coated and flavored to your liking. Don't overdress it, or it will be way too salty. Top it with a little cilantro if you wish. Bon appetit. *insert Japanese translation here*

I might change a few things about this. I might marinate the tofu in some dressing for a half hour before roasting it. I might get real udon noodles... stick in some green onions at the end... and eliminate the mustard/shoyu from the dressing and use rice vinegar instead of lemon juice. But I still think it worked. Let me know if you try it.