Mediterranean Pearled Barley Salad

Here I am, trying to make a rice salad (rice salad is one of my favorite summer foods, you know). Right now, I'm out of rice. Perfectly aware of the fact when I got my groceries two days ago, I also reminded myself that I had some emmer farro in the cupboard (a type of ancient wheat berry), and wouldn't that suffice just fine? Besides, I'm on a budget and even as cheap as brown rice is, I should be using what I have.

So come time to make dinner, I'm all excited, getting out my ingredients, because really, this salad practically makes itself. I get out a cup of farro and admire the golden grains, and remember the last time I had it. (Admittedly, that was several months ago. December, as I recall.) It sort of pops as you chew it, and has the taste of wind and sweet water and a little bit of the earth. Happy, no?

Into my saucepan it goes, covered with water. At this point I'm starting to notice something. There were a bunch of little dark seeds in with the farro, and they all floated up to the top. "Well gosh," I thought, "How on Earth did flaxseeds get into my farro?"

Upon closer inspection I realize that this is a very special type of flaxseed known as the flour beetle. I scoop them out and rinse my farro and put it in more water and swoosh it around to make sure they're all gone. They are. I sit there, staring at my farro, for what amounts to probably 45 minutes before I reluctantly admit it's just too creepy to want to cook and eat that grain. So it goes in the garbage (it, and all the rest of my farro supply). I putz around until about 9:30, studying the only live specimen of the flaxseeds flour beetles I can salvage. Kind of cute. Sigh.

No problem, I'll just go to Trader Joe's and see what kind of grain they have. Oh wait, they close at 9. So does Whole Foods, and having already driven the 10 miles to the nearest store that day, did not want to go back anyway. Albertson's up the street it is. They have a natural foods aisle, right??

Yeah, no. The most natural things at Albertson's are poison apples and Horizon milk.

Down to Basha's I go (another grocery chain here, it's like any other nasty grocery store), in the opposite direction. Lucky me, there's an aisle that says, "NATURAL" on the hanging sign. Apparently that means that there's a spot on the shelf for Gorilla Munch cereal. You know, next to the Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Frosted Mini Stupid Grossness.

I give up. By the grace of Whomever, there are three or four selections of Amy's frozen entrees in the freezer aisle. I recommend the Matar Paneer.

--

After a visit to Trader Joe's in the morning I relent to going back to Whole Foods (Trader Joe's has no organic uncooked grain that appeals to this salad), where I scour the bulk bins and pick up some pearled barley. It was that, or Kamut (another ancient form of wheat), which takes 2 hours to cook, or wheat berries - and I figure I get enough of standard wheat anyway. Or rice, which I am determined not to get at this point, because then I would feel silly for not getting it in the first place.

And I make my salad, which is delicious, except I discover that pearled barley (which I've never cooked before) has the bran and germ removed, rendering it NOT a whole grain and not nearly as beneficial to one's gut. Disappointing. But I got my salad, and it was delicious, so neener neener.

This is the ongoing battle I wage with the universe. I can't decide if it's telling me to give up and move on, or daring me to overcome something. Ever a fan of stories of overcoming great obstacles, I usually barge in and see what a mess I can make with what I've been thrown. Take that! See what I did there? Yeah! Somethingorother-power-struggle-taking-charge-of-chaos-mumbojumbo.

Somewhere in the back of my mind at this point is a tiny voice, sounding somewhat like my father, saying, "You're only punishing yourself..."

Wait, was there a lesson here?

You bet! I'm going to teach you how to make a delicious salad. :-D


MEDITERRANEAN PEARLED BARLEY SALAD

2 1/2 cups water
1 cup pearled barley
1/2 tsp sea salt
Extra virgin olive oil (get one with a delicious aroma and flavor)
1 tsp red pepper flakes
Freshly coarse-ground black pepper
1/4 cup finely diced red/purple onion
8 Kalamata olives, pitted and all chopped up
2-3 tbsp finely chopped sundried tomatoes (either the kind packed in oil, or the kind you have to rehydrate... doesn't matter, but not the paste)
1/2 cup thinly sliced or finely diced celery
1/4 cup - 1/2 cup chopped parsley leaves (curly or Italian flat, either's fine)
Fresh(ish) lemon juice
1/4 cup - 1/3 cup crumbled Feta cheese
Sea salt

1. Start by cooking the barley.

Bring the water to a boil, add the salt and barley, give it a quick stir. Turn it down and cover the pot. Let it simmer for 35 minutes. Check it every so often to make sure it's at a simmer and not a rapid boil. You can always adjust the temperature. After your minutes elapse, test a grain to make sure it's a good texture for eating. If it's not cooked, cook it some more. It's not difficult. If it's done, drain whatever water might still be left, and put the barley in a bowl and into the refrigerator to chill for a couple of hours.

2. When the barley is sufficiently cold, take it out. If you need to, add it to a bigger bowl. It's probably stuck in the shape of whatever it was chilled in, so break it up a little. Fluff it. You want independent grains.



3. Drizzle in some olive oil. I honestly don't know how much I used. I never measure it. I'd say maybe 1/4 cup? I don't know, drizzle it in and mix it until all the grains are coated and when you take a bite you get a hint of whatever delicious olive oil you've selected. Also add the red pepper flakes, ground pepper, and onion at this time. The pepper flakes and pepper because they need to be evenly distributed, and they tend to get confused and stick together if you add them after everything else. The onion because the longer it sits in there, with the oil, with the barley - the more it mellows and the flavors diffuse and become rather happy with one another.



4. You can chop your celery one of two ways. Either thinly slice it (1/8 inch thick, no more) or finely dice it (1/8-1/4 inch). They're both good. I did it both ways so you could see.



Actually, I did it both ways because I changed my mind halfway through cutting it. Perhaps it would be more correct to say that you could chop your celery one or two of two ways.

5. Add the celery, sundried tomatoes, and olives. Mix it all up.



6. Take a bunch of leaves from your parsley and chop them roughly. I like curly parsley for this salad because it doesn't seem as whiney. It's easy to cut it up and it gives a little bounce to your dish. Mix in the parsley, and then some lemon juice. I also don't measure the lemon juice, but I probably use about half as much as I did olive oil.



7. The last step is feta. Add it (crumbled) and taste. Add whatever it might need: pepper, olive oil, lemon juice, or sea salt. (If you're having trouble deciding on a brand of Feta, I like the Valbreso brand in the plastic package with the little sheep face on it. It's quite good. I used the Whole Foods brand that was precrumbled, and it was all dry and uncreamy. But it was also 1/4 the price, so there you go.) Once it's seasoned just right, it's pretty much ready to eat.

It's also good for a few days afterward, cold and delicious. I really like it with brown rice. I'm sure it would be good with wheat berries, spelt berries, farro, kamut, triticale, or maybe even whole oat groats. They all cook differently, so make sure you look into that if you try one of them.

And always check your stored grain. You might make a new friend (or 20). Or however you want to look at it.